Ever met one person who ruined a name for you? Now whenever you meet a person with that name, you automatically don’t trust them? And It’s not that they aren’t trustworthy. It’s just that first person who ruined that name has cursed the name for eternity for you.
I had a very bad experience with an ex-boyfriend, when I was in college, and his name ruined said name for me in the future. And it seems every time I met/meet someone with that same name, i’ve been careful around them. And it’s odd because almost every person that I’ve met with that name ended up being shady.
I’m sure there are some nice and trustworthy people out there with that name, but I haven’t met them yet.
I was in Minneapolis this last weekend with my husband and we went to the Mall of America. In one of the newer sections there was a fountain.
Tons of kids were throwing pennies into it.
It got me thinking about what started the whole tradition of throwing pennies into water. And what “made” it magical enough to grant wishes.
We threw a penny into the reflecting pool along with a wish of course.
I looked up some information about what created those traditions. In the times of old, people would throw pennies as payment to the guardians or dwellers of the well in order that they might grant their wishes.
Isn’t that interesting. It’s interesting how folk-lore can inspire pop culture. And things people have been doing for years and years, people still do even if they don’t know why, other than to make a wish and throw a penny into a well.
In case you didn’t know where the tradition came from, now you do.
If you could make one wish, what would you wish for? *Remember your wish must be for the good of you and all humanity.
I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately about my blog and the direction I want it to go.
Time is constantly running away from me and pushing other things and projects on my plate. And I’m not talking about projects to move forward my business, but things from outside sources.
At work the other day, I wrote a blog post that included Seth Godin’s project workflow. While doing research on him, I found out that I really love his blog posts. I mean some of them are super simple and short. Some are longer. But no matter the length, they get you truly thinking.
That’s what I want to do with my writing on my blog.
Seth Godin publishes a blog a day. I don’t know if I’ll be able to publish something daily, but I thought why not try.
So I’d like you all to know that moving forward, I hope to share with you the thoughts going through my mind.
I want to be upfront and entirely truthful with you. I feel that’s one big thing that is really missing, today. I want you to feel happy with who you are. And because of that, I want to share with you my story and some things that will help you!
I stepped onto the scale. A number I wasn’t happy about appeared, making me feel depressed. Utterly shocked.
At that moment, I was the heaviest I’d ever been. It made me upset with myself. How did I let myself come to this? I decided I couldn’t live like this any longer. So I picked up the pieces and started constructing a path back to the “me” I wanted to be. You can also do this!
Have you ever felt this way?
If so, right now is the moment your life is going to change.
Make a promise to yourself that you aren’t going to be who the mirror or the scale tells you that you are.
Seeing It in Others
Not too long ago, I was out shopping with my fiancé and my wifi connection was very bad inside the store, so I went outside to try get a better signal. And don’t ask! I have no idea why the wifi was so horrible inside and so good outside. I kept myself busy while waiting, as I always do. Ever since I was little, I’ve always loved watching people. I wanted to know what people’s stories were. It must be the fiction writer in me. . .
I stood there waiting as a heavier woman walked toward the store entrance (let’s call her “Sue”), as an average woman in a bright dress walked out of the store (how about we call her “Anna”).
“I love your dress!” Sue said.
“Thanks!” Anna smiled, walking past Sue.
Once Anna was far enough away, Sue uttered in a hopeful yet doubtful tone, “I wish I could wear a dress like that . . .”
I don’t think she knew I’d heard her. It struck a chord in my heart.
I saw Sue disappear into the store, but I really wanted to run after her and give her a hug. I wanted to tell her, “You can wear the dress. You are worthy. You are beautiful and have everything it takes to get there. You just need to see it and decide what you’re going to do. You need to choose yourself.”
I did it. I know you can too.
You can achieve anything you want to if only you start. That’s the true heart of this book. The Chinese poet and philosopher Lao-tzu said, “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”
Are you ready to take the first step?
Your Journey Begins Now
Your journey begins now, with choosing yourself. Just as it did for me. It’s important to choose yourself because if you don’t, who is going to? And you deserve it.
We only have one life, so it’s important to choose ourselves, now, so we can live full and amazing lives, doing and loving what we do. In this chapter, you will find creative projects that will help you start out on this journey to create the fit life you want to live. First, I want to share with you a note for the journey ahead.
I want to fill you in with all of the amazing things that you are going to experience in the days, weeks, and months ahead.
You wake up in the morning and pull on your skinny jeans. You feel comfortable. There isn’t a muffin top or spare tire around your waist. You don’t feel any bit of discomfort.
The jeans aren’t tight around your waist or legs. No more feeling like a stuffed turkey on Thanksgiving Day or a stuffed sausage. I know—gross image, but still, you know what I mean!
You head down the stairs of your apartment and feel no pain in your knees. Then when you get into your car and buckle your seat belt, you don’t feel your stomach bulging over your seat belt.
The button on your jeans doesn’t feel like it’s about to burst, and you don’t have to unbutton it to sit comfortably. I know, maybe that was too much information as well. Your seatbelt is resting flatly against your stomach.
When you walk into your art gallery, you feel like your smile is changing the world. And it is. People will see the difference. You don’t just feel like a changed woman on the outside, but you feel like you’ve changed on the inside too.
When you live with confidence, you’ll also make a difference in others’ lives. People will ask you how you’ve changed your life around and how you lost the weight. They may even notice how happy you look.
This, my friend, is the future you. You are just months away from meeting her. She rocks and she knows it! But not in a cocky way!
When you are a creative professional who takes care of yourself, people will take you more seriously. It’s sad, but true.
Since there are great and awesome things ahead, I want to tell you that the good doesn’t come without some bad.
Here are some tougher things that may be ahead:
When these possible joy stealers come knocking, try to ignore them.
Your little critic will try and get you to quit. How is it that our worst enemy is sometimes us?
Not wanting to get up earlier in the morning to get your gym time in before work.
The tempting candy you found in the closet from last Halloween.
The moments when being lazy sounds nicer than the great feeling you have after accomplishing a workout.
Doubt that you’ll ever be able to reach your goals.
Comparison. If you see a woman who is ahead of you in the fit life, comparison will only steal your joy and make you feel like you’re not achieving enough.
Low self-esteem and wanting to give up.
Don’t let your little critic devour your joy with these emotional trolls.
Throughout the book, I will give you creative challenges to do or think about. I believe that our creativity has a huge impact in our fit journey.
To begin your journey, take up this challenge. Find pictures and paste them onto a sheet. You are going to make a vision board. Actually, you are going to make two vision-type picture boards.
Your Two Picture Boards:
1. What-I-Want-To-Change Board
With this board, you are going to find pictures of what you consider to be unhealthy habits or what you feel unconfident about in your life.
Some examples that different people might have:
Pictures of cigarettes = I want to quite smoking.
A picture of unhealthy food = I want to stop overeating and lose weight.
A picture of a computer = I want to stop wasting time on the Internet and get active instead.
Use your imagination. Don’t get down on yourself with this board. This is a challenge to identify what things you aren’t happy with. But don’t body shame or be too hard on yourself!
2. Vision Board
With this board, you are going to find pictures of things that will inspire you during this fit journey.
• A bikini = I want to be able to wear a bikini confidently.
• A bright bowl of fruit = I want to eat more fruit.
• A runner running a race = I want to run a half marathon.
Doing this challenge will make your goals seem MORE attainable.
You can achieve anything if only you put your mind to it. You can and you will!
Creative, it’s your time to start.
Small Pep Talk:
Now, in order for any of this to work, you need to be all in.
First off… I want to congratulate you. You are strong and I am proud of you. I can image that since you searched “Do long distance relationships work?” that you are wondering if you and your partner can make it the long haul.
I want you to know that you are doing something that many people could never do.
You are going the distance for your lover and you want to make it work. Good on you.
I’m sure you want someone to help you through this time of being away from your love. A guiding hand of some sorts, because I know it can be difficult. It is difficult and without encouragement, trust, and love. But I want you to know I am here for you.
Let’s jump in.
About 5.5 years ago I also went searching online for helpful tips and encouragement that would help me and my boyfriend to survive our long distance relationship against all the odds that seemed to be ever presently in front of us.
This may be hard depending on how close you are to the copycat.
You have to think whether it’s really worth sharing your ideas with people who you know are copycats.
I’ve chatted with people about writing ideas before and a few days later I find out that they are writing something a little too similar to my story.
Sometimes it’s just not worth it.
So from experience, If they ask you about your story don’t tell them about it. If they asked you where you got your shirt, be discreet and say you don’t remember.
2. Sell Yourself The BEST You Can
If your copycat tries copying things that you are doing or creating, don’t let them sell it better than you.
It was your idea originally. Be the unique person you are and sell the idea the best you can. They won’t be able to fight against it, since you are the one who go the ideas in the first place. There is only one – you!
3. Encourage Them In Their Own Uniqueness
Maybe you are shopping with them and see some awesome clothes that you want to get, but you know if you point it out in front of them they will be buying it before you can even say “But, I was picking that out for me.”
Point out outfits you think might look nice on your copycat. Say things like “Wow, this outfit would look amazing on you!” or “Green really makes your eyes pop.” You’ll find that they’ll eat all your compliments up.
When you do this, you are helping them see what is unique and original about them. Then when they are in the dressing room trying it on go get the clothes you wanted to try on.
4. Which Kind Of Copycat Do You Have?
There are a few different kinds of copycats: One is nicer to deal with, while the other can be a thorn in your side. But those two can admire you or be jealous of you for either your appearance or your ideas or even both.
One just admires you. For this kind of copycat, try to be gentle and kind. Encourage them in finding and showing off their own unique person.
While the other is just jealous of you. For this copycat, if you can, try drop them. They really aren’t good for your health or well-being. I know it can be hard, especially if you have a relative who is this kind of copycat.
Have a relative like this copycat? If they bring you down and make you feel horrible, I recommend trying not to see them as often as you need to. When you do see them, just keep your mouth shut and smile. That will bother them. If you do anything, encourage them in the things that might make them unique.
Appearance Theif: This one wants to be you when it comes to your style and personality.
Idea Theif: The idea thief loves your ideas so much that they want them for themselves.
5. If Nothing Works… Talk Them
Sometimes the only thing you can do is talk to your copycat. If you’ve tried other things, but it doesn’t work you may just have to talk to them straight up.
Sit down and talk to them. Tell them that you didn’t appreciate it. And then distance yourself from them.
How Do I Talk To Them?
Sitting down to confront your copycat can be scary.
Here are some helpful things to tell them:
It really bothers me that you copied me _________________ (State the time).
You are a unique and creative person. I just don’t understand why you feel like you have to copy me. I love __________, _____________, and ________________ (name characteristics about them that you love or see could be great if they focused on it.) about you!
I really love you as a friend, but I can’t continue to hang out with or talk to you about these things because you just steal my ideas and I don’t appreciate that at all. So if you can’t stop copying me, I can’t be your friend anymore. (If they stole your idea and don’t want to stop copying you, you might have to tell them something like this. It may be difficult.)
The First Copy-Cat That I Remember
I encountered a copy-cat for the first time (I believe) was in 5th grade when I was sitting on the bus with my best friend. We were bundled in our fluffy winter jackets with our backpacks at our feet as we spoke. I was so excited to show my friend an idea I had. I trusted her. Of course, she wouldn’t steal my ideas. I reached into my unzipped backpack and brought out a small locked journal.
This was one of the first times I chose to share something I had written with someone other than a teacher or my parents. I opened the clasped journal with a kitty on it. I flipped the page to the spot I wanted to show her. Small pictures of little fairy people who I’d drawn along with a story that went along with it.
I got onto the bus the next day and then she showed me a picture she had drawn. She said, “Devin, I am writing a story too.” A hint of panic struck my stomach. Her story was identical to my story. I didn’t think this kind of thing could happen. While looking at her drawing on the paper, it was an exact replica of the drawing in my story.
When I saw the picture she’d drawn a hint of panic struck through my and curdled my stomach. Her story was identical to mine and the pictures of the fairies resembled mine. At that young age, I experienced the fear that came along with someone stealing your ideas or work.
This is something that I never thought would be possible. I thought everyone had their own unique ideas and that they wouldn’t ever think of stealing other people’s ideas. I sure know I wouldn’t.
I never thought I’d fly half way around the world. The idea of it frightened me.
In High-School, I met many exchange students. I could describe most of them in this way: full of life, young, living with families they didn’t know, and most likely they spoke a different language. I am sure you know what I mean?
I was always drawn to these people because there was something drastically and beautifully different about them. Not just because they were from other countries and that their accents were gorgeous! But because they’d seen so much of the world and in my eyes they were much further ahead than those who had never been out of their state.
It was one day in the library at my Middle School that changed my 8th grade year. Her name was Silvia Atanosava. And she became my best friend that year!
My family took her under our wing. It was almost like I had a big sister. She was an exchange student from Bulgaria which, before meeting her I had never even heard of.
After seeing her come here on her own, I found myself thinking, “Maybe, I will go study and travel abroad someday as well.”
(If you have twitter, choose which option you fall under (above). I would love to know if you have lived abroad or not! Either way! I get excited when I talk about these things.)
If your answer was yes to any of these questions, read on – because I have some things that will help you reach your dreams.
While in Mexico on a family vacation in 2009, I decided I wanted to stay there and maybe study abroad. As soon as I got home I looked into the qualifications of studying abroad in certain countries.
I’d studied Spanish in High-School, but hadn’t been speaking it or listening to it for a few years.
Which got me thinking… Hmm… where is it warm… and where they also speak English.
Only one place hopped into my mind as swiftly as a kangaroo.
It was a continent and country of it’s own. A red country full of desert, a country full of accents, Kangaroos, Koalas, Dingos, and giant poisonous spiders and snakes. Or at least that is what I thought!
Note from Devin: In this post, I dig deep into something that really annoys and hurts people in long distance relationships. This post will help you communicate and love people in long distance relationships in a way that will strengthen them in their long distance journey.
I sat quietly in the tour van as the lady in front of me talked loudly about how her daughter lived abroad in Asia. She went on to say that she’d been teaching there for a year.
“I am so happy she didn’t fall in love with anyone abroad.” She clucked to the other women around her.
This is something I just love putting people on the spot with. Because I truly hate it when people try to make couples in long distance relationships feel like they are a mutated untouchable alien just because they love someone from far away.
Listen up people.
It’s not okay. I am sure that you don’t want to knowingly hurt people, but couples in long distance relationships are already undergoing something that many people will never be able to understand or even imagine. I know, because I’ve experienced it.